08.28.19 We are to worship Him always, in all things, through all things. But what about in the hard times? What about when food is low and there is no fuel for car or heat in the house? God never said we would not go through difficulties, we will and we do. He said He will always be with us. He would never leave us. That is the truth. When we are faced with illness or financial problems we can become overwhelmed. Our flesh the one who rules us when the Spirit of God is not leading and guides us back into temptation. God delivers us from temptation if we allow Him. We have to make conscious choices to dwell in His presence. Our flesh will not lead us there. Flesh worries. The Spirit of God within us wants to worship. One wants to worry. One wants to worship. It's our choice on what we will do when we do it and how often.
Adamo & I have been facing some pretty extreme things concerning where we are. Although today I thanked Him that if I had to be homeless I would rather be homeless in New England where the weather is cooler versus being in Florida where you cannot escape the heat. Adamo & I are not homeless we are nearing the end of our transition time. Moving, relocating across the country especially when you didn't know it was going to happen has been a challenge, to say the least. We came on vacation. We only had so much money and faith. We knew what we had would carry us to the next place. The problem is God didn't tell us there was another next place.
After we were here for a little while He said, this is your new place. This is your next assignment. This is your new home. Panic set in trying to figure everything out. That would be my first problem. Me trying to figure everything out. Here we are with God on vacation and He is trying to teach us to live by faith and trust Him once again. It has been an interesting two months with one more to go. Here are just a few things we've dealt with...
*The headlights on our car burnt out within days after getting here. Vacation money being used for this. *Adamo & I were rear-ended sitting at a light with no injuries. *The car has had numerous things which needed attention that we had to go to the dealership. More money out of pocket I do not do credit cards. *It's high tourist season rentals have been at a premium. *We stayed at a couple hotels realizing we would soon be out of money if we kept that up. *We have couch surfed and camped out in the car. *Wendy's & Walmart have been our best friend as far as meals. *No we have not been dumpster diving. But I know what it is like to eat french fries for dinner and a soft drink while you give the meal to your dog. I can fast and pray he doesn't understand that stuff. *Public washrooms are available everywhere and fresh coffee can be bought at the local gas station. * Thank God for the cemetery where there is water everywhere to wash up with. I can visit my relatives and give Adamo a bath at the same time. *I made a deal with God this past week. I'll write the books you provide the finances. You need me to write and you need to provide for us. A couple days ago i finished up writing I Am Mary in my car using my steering wheel for my desk. Thank God for my laptop. * If you're wondering why don't I go into a place to use wi-fi and relax it's because of Adamo. I am very limited to where we can go and do together and i will not leave him unattended. So yes, under all this we are dealing with I am still writing books, working on and websites, newsletters and email. I am not doing any counseling. Some days I think I need it.
I could go on and on about the difficulties, the challenges, the hardships. I could tell you about times of forced fasting and prayer. I could tell you about the emotional roller coaster I've been on. I could tell you how many times I soared like an eagle watching the morning sunrise only to be doubting myself once again as we slept in the car in the pouring rain in a parking lot. I know what it is to ask for a blanket. Adamo has fur. We came here on vacation from Florida where I was working so all I have is work clothes, work boots in my trunk. All my clothes and belongings are in Georgia where I left them. We were only coming here on vacation.
God had other plans. God had other ideas. He would not let me go to Georgia to swap out clothes or pick up anything else. We came with what we had. I will be honest these last two months have broken me in ways and in areas I didn't know needed to be broken. Hardships and difficulties will break us so God can remake us. I am not the same person who originally came here. We have endured under pressure, fighting spiritual battles and through it all, we remain. The one consistent thing is worship. When I wake up I worship. When it's cold or hot I worship Him. At night before I sleep and if I can't sleep I worship. When I am hungry and tired I worship. I find times and reasons to worship Him now. More than before. Does worship provide answers to what we are going through... it does not. When I worship Him I am not looking for answers I am looking for Him. That is sufficient. To find God, to be with God has been enough to get us through this.
We do have a deposit on a place. If all works out and God really wants us here then by October 1st Adamo & I have endured like good soldiers and receive our reward. We have ministered to many others while we are ourselves needed ministry and we have never stopped giving. We have been sowing from what little we had to those who had less. God has been with us the whole time. If we are correct we will worship our way through September right into October and keep going... And if for some odd reason unknown to us God turns things around on us again before October 1st we will follow Him. Remember we see in part, we know in part we prophesy in part.
All Adamo and I can do is walk with him and worship until He takes us home... We have the whole month of September left. We have 30 days for God to do and to finish what He started. As of today I feel like there is not more to learn. No more to do. I feel like we did when we first came-on vacation a time of rest. September we will rest and worship until the end. God we are looking to you the author and finisher of our faith. We worship you and we thank you for all you've done and are going to do. In Jesus matchless and Holy name do we pray... amen and amen